Holy smokes… August?!
Today I registered a very nervous, excited, sweet 5-year-old for Kindergarten. It was CRAZY. Crazy in the sense that my child is old enough to go off on her own into the public school system…which can be a pretty brutal world. My hope and prayer is that I’ve taught her that she is so perfect just the way she is. There’s no need to be anything but herself-ever. Registration was mainly paper work, with nothing terribly exciting happening until class list is posted and then back-to-school-night. Regardless, she was excited to see where she’d be going and the ladies in the office. Hopefully this will be a GREAT school year.
After we got home she and I both had a good cry about all the big changes coming. I promised her that while they’d be big changes for a while, eventually it would become routine and be normal again. I hope this is true…it was an effort to convince myself as well. The thought about going back to corporate America at sometime in the near future scares the hell out of me. The thought of shuffling kids to ten million places makes me reminisce on the days when it was just me and my sweet babies at home: simple and perfect. But, onwards and upwards for everything in life I suppose.
In spite of all the changes I know are coming, I’m still so content. There is this odd sense of peace. Like I’ve never been more content with me and everything surrounding me. I’ve never been this confident in my life about my abilities to handle whatever life decides to toss at me… Yeah it may be a shit storm for a while, but I’m good at picking pieces up and putting things back together. It’s glorious to have that knowledge going in. I know that eventually my little girlies will bounce back. Because they’re incredibly resilient. And they’ve done it many times before.
I love being a mom. I love being me. I love being alive. I feel so blessed everywhere I turn. I have the coolest, awesome-est, fantastic, most supportive circle of friends that really want the best for me. Their unconditional love is inspiring to me and reminds me just how lucky I am to be exactly where I am right now. Its a love that until now, I’ve never known.
Utah has brought me endless heartache, but it’s also done wonders for my soul. The clean mountain air of Park City, the stark contrast of a bright orange and purple desert sunset against the mountains, the sound of the snow softly falling, blanketing newness over everything, and the love and concern of some of the greatest people I know; it’s all allowed me to heal my heart in ways I never expected. Moving here was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. Staying here, with all that the first 5 years entailed, was the most difficult. And now? Right this very moment has been the greatest part of my life. Learning about love, forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, parenting, relationship and most of all, finding joy in everything- it’s all been the best part of life. I have this renewed sense of hope in the world, even with the knowledge of the filth that’s out there. I believe with all my heart that things, and even people, can eventually change. I learned that here. In this unlikely place called Utah.
I hope wherever you are in your life you can share at the very least a fraction of the joy I’m experiencing. Life will never get any better than the day you’ve made for yourself today. I love being right here, right now. Surrounded by all the wonderful things and people; including you! Thank you for adding to my journey.
All my love,