Lately I’ve felt like everything is trying to sabotage my peace. I’ve come to this really awesome place in my life and with myself and it feels like every good thing that comes along must be tainted, or only temporary. It’s kinda frustrating…ok really frustrating!!
However… a while ago I found this poster:
I found it in a store called World Market and I LOVE IT! After researching its origins some, I found that it was a poster the British government made in 1939 at the beginning of WWII, to keep morale up.
Keep Calm, and Carry On.
Frequently throughout the day I repeat this to myself. Yes, life is incredibly stressful some days. But it’s interesting, because the more I keep calm and keep going, the more trivial life’s stresses have become. I’ve been able to focus on so many great things I am blessed with every single day.
I have the sweetest girls. Most days are not without challenges, but lately, I’ve realized just how lucky I am. To have both, completely perfect in their own ways. Ohhh they drive me crazy, but without it all, I’m not sure what I’d do. The struggles with T have not left, and for some reason C has started having allergic reactions, twice a day, to only heaven knows what. But, with each struggle we overcome I feel like I get closer and closer with both of them. I see how they run to me when they need something and while it’s not always convenient, it is so so worth it. I love knowing they trust me, they believe in me and they love me- even if most days I feel like I fall short of the mother I want to be.
I really do have the greatest friends. Monday was a particularly rough day for me. I had 3 friends call and make sure I was ok. One of them completely out of the blue, just because he was thinking about me. He then continued to listen to my emotional rant about how terrible my day was. All without judgement. And at the end, he offered some comfort and a few laughs. I think about all the amazing people I’ve come across in my life and I honestly wonder why I am so blessed. Why all these really freaking awesome people have converged on my life and made it what it is. Not a day goes by that one of them doesn’t call, text, facebook, or email how much they love me. And that makes me feel spectacular.
Tomorrow I go in for a considerable surgery. This will be 5 in as many years. While the jitters have faded, I still contemplate that there is always the possibility I could not wake up. And if I don’t, have I made damn sure that everyone I love, knows it? I suppose it’s a little morbid, but I never want to leave anything unsaid.
So, to those in my life- Thanks so much for all your love and support. I really am surrounded with (as cliché as this is) living angels who make each day so incredibly enjoyable. I’m so glad to have each individual counted as my friend, and really, a part of my family. To my girlies…You are both so awesome. Your laughs, your giggles, your smiles, your squeezes, hugs, kisses, “I love you”s, they are all counted and numbered in my mind. I love you both so so much. Thank you for making me a mama.
On that note, when the drugs have worn off, I promise I’ll write a huge long post about Ooooooklahoma. With pictures. 🙂