WHAT?! Has it honestly been almost 2 months since I’ve updated?! We cannot be at the END OF MARCH?! (insert expletive here) I cannot believe how fast time goes! Soon, I’ll post pics and a synopses of our big trip home, but this post will have to tide you over till then!
Updates… hmmmm… I suppose I should start with the fact that it feels like last week I was typing that very difficult post on sexual abuse. It probably feels like yesterday because that post has not been far from my mind on any given day. T is still going to her therapy, though we’ve now hit the rough part. Actually, shortly after that post was written, something changed. I think it became less of a novelty and my whipper snapper of a girl figured out that we really weren’t gonna be playing games and making crafts at therapy. There would be hard work…and really, that’s not very fun. Especially if you’re 5. That being said, I’m still so proud of T. We have a LOT of problems at home, but our saying now is, “It’s going to get worse before it gets better”. And that’s ok. Yeah, sure, most days moving to a desert island while simultaneously flying the bird to everyone I’m leaving behind sounds like a dandy option. But, that being said, its the optimist in me that says to myself, “Dig your heels in and figure this out. You’ve already put in so much work. Giving up now would be stupid. Quite complaining and deal. It WILL get better. It just takes time.” At the end of the day, I know I’m making the right choice by keeping T in therapy, even though she hates going. I know that I’m making the right decision to clean this wound now, however painful it may be, because leaving it up to T to clean later in life would be irresponsible. I know how much work it takes to clean out emotional wounds that are years old. It’s not fun. If I can save her the grief, I will. At any cost. Even my sanity. 😉
Hmm…. what’s next…. C! C will be THREE this week!!!! I can hardly believe my baby is 3. She is so funny, so sensitive to others needs, and so sweet. Right now the highlight of my life is our weekday routine. Three days a week I get to wake up with just me and this cute punk. She “snuggies” up to me and we spend about 45 minutes in the morning just cuddling and talking. It’s the best part of my day. Hands down. C has so many awesome qualities already and I love watching her little personality unfold. She has her own little plan in life and I’m so glad I get to help her figure that out. Happy Birthday to my fantastic, funny, adorable baby! Mama loves you more than you will ever know!
Speaking of birthdays… D, the girls’ daddy also had a pretty big birthday. He spent the big 3-0 in a hotel in Oklahoma watching the girls while I hung out with my friends…Thanks D!! Later that week I also celebrated a birthday. I was able to spend the stroke of midnight with some of my best friends celebrating. It’s been YEARS since I’ve been with these people on my special day. It was blissful. Later that day, I also got to see one of my best friends marry the man of her dreams. My day was spent with so many other awesome people, I nearly forgot I added another year to my tally. At the end of the day I was exhausted, but exhilarated. Spending so much time with my family of friends was a gift larger than I could have ever asked for.
I can’t wait to post pictures and tell y’all about my FANTASTIC trip home! My girls got to visit Oklahoma for the first time and finally meet the people that mean so much to me. They met Aunt Natalie and Uncle Ricky(plus Johnnie!), Grammie Pam(in the nick of time!), the always awesome Sermersheim family, and Aunt Hallie(and soon to be Uncle Chad!), not to mention see Aunt Cynthia and Auntie Em after WAY too long! I seriously can’t wait to post pictures!!! I’m also eagerly awaiting my trip to see my dear friend Hallie marry her prince charming, Chad. I adore these two and will be back out in August for their special day!
So much has gone on in the past month that I feel like I could write for 6 hours and still not have covered everything, or expressed the gratitude I have for life. If there’s one thing I always try to remember, it’s what a gift life is. I think when you remember that, it’s easier to view the monotony of every day as much more than the grind. Every day is an adventure. A gift. A priceless allotment of time that can never be regained. Making the most of it every day is my goal. I have been so incredibly blessed with the greatest people in life. I don’t give Utah enough credit, but my circle of supporters here, while significantly smaller, is no less important, and no less amazing. I have two girls that are like sisters to me, and so, so many other great people. I’m so glad I have them all here. It has made this odd life here so much more vibrant and interesting. I honestly don’t know how I’d survive it here without them!
I really do have countless people in my life that make each day so great. To those closest to me; I hope you know how much you mean to me. And I’m so grateful you trust me with your love, and the challenges of your life. I’m so happy to be part of your life and so grateful you’re in mine.
Until the Oklahoma post… adios friends!