I’m a huge journal writer… good thing cause I’m a sucky blogger!!! Here’s the latest from my inner thoughts; unedited and in all it’s glory(well minus the handwritten part!)
“Aug. 23rd 2010
My first-born had her first day of school today. I can hardly believe that 4 1/2 years ago T was 2 months old and I was a brand new mom. I remember thinking about this day, telling myself I’d be nearly 25! That seemed so old! And now, here I am, nearly 25 with a nearly 5-year-old and I don’t feel a day older. I look at T and wonder where the time went. Where the little curly ringlets went on my busy toddler…when did those get exchanged for hair that’s waist length now!? When did the smells of baby disappear and get replaced by smells of dirty preschooler and stinky feet and wet towel and people food instead of baby food and breast milk? I realise it’s gone by way too fast for my liking. What I’d do to have these first 4 years repeat in slow motion. To hear the wonderment in T’s exclamation of, “NOOK MOM! NOOK!” To hear her first words all over again. To watch those first steps all one more time. Never before in my life have I felt the pain of letting go so strong, but the joy of seeing T grow and learn and become so much better. SO.MUCH.STRONGER.
My sweet girl marched in that class like she owned the place today. She sat right down with one of the student teachers to color and only asked once if we could stay with her. Within seconds she was so engrossed in this new experience she didn’t even notice me, her daddy and her sister sneaking out. While we watched in the observation room(hidden from her), T did not even turn and look for us. She chattered happily about her Ni-Hao Kai-Lan outfit and continued to color. As I drove away from the preschool today I instinctively looked in my rear view mirror- where for the past 4 years nearly every trip I’ve taken I’ve seen her face back there. Today was different. I realised my baby girl was all grown up in some ways. She no longer NEEDS me for every single thing.
It was so cute- as soon as we got to the car, my sweet C said, “We can’t leave without sissy! I miss my sissy!” Those sweet words made my heart just melt! I’m so proud to have two girls that love each other. They are best friends and I love that so so so much.
At pick up time we were behind a lot of other parents and so as we walked in, S, T’s teacher(and C’s) said to me, “OH MY GOODNESS! She so adorable I want to take her home!!” I beamed. My T, my energetic, independent, head-strong, sweet T had won her teacher over the first day. I was thrilled!
T came to the door looking for us and was eager to grab her backpack and tell us all about preschool! As we drive to a surprise lunch at The Original Pancake House, T told us how much fun she had and how much she loved it. I couldn’t be happier! For years I’ve wondered how she would do her 1st day. If the kids would make fun of her”baby eye” or if she’s be confidant enough to stand on her own. All this time I’ve underestimated my sweet girl. Of course she’s strong enough! Of course she’s confidant enough! T is an amazing little girl with more strength, determination, and independence than I ever dreamed. I’m so lucky to be her Mama! I’m so lucky and grateful to call her mine.
We ended the day off at our local aquatic center swimming with the girls. T once again shocked us by marching up a HUGE spiral staircase to the giant water slide! 30 seconds later she came flying down, all by herself, and into the pool; no floaties! I caught her and as she gasped for air after a quick trip under, she cried and then giggled with joy. My sweet girl has more confidence than I’ve seen in a long time: I couldn’t be prouder! I’m the luckiest mama alive!”
I can’t tell you the amount of tears that streamed down my face as I wrote this. I really am happy and excited that T is growing up, it just seemed to creep up on me so fast!!!
On another note, yesterday I found out via facebook that a family very dear to me, lost a very important member. The Hale/Chopelas family are amazing people who I’ve known for over 10 years. I was able to see most of them when I was out in Oklahoma, but Jennifer is in Boston. Jennifer’s husband Dave, who I met just a few weeks after I moved to Oklahoma, passed away yesterday. He leaves behind his beautiful wife, and their adorable son Adler. My heart has been heavy thinking about my friend and her tragic loss. It’s been so sad thinking about all the fun memories I had with Jenn and Dave before they had kids. Dave was such a funny, easy-going guy. The first time I hung out with them was at Lake Arcadia and I was too young to drive the jet ski alone, so Dave volunteered to ride with me. I took a turn too fast and accidentally threw him off the back. When I realised what happened I was mortified, but Dave was laughing and said it was no big deal!
Dave and Jenn were very involved with the youth at my church growing up and often times were the favorites to hang out with at activities. There was once that I saw them in the grocery store and it was then that I knew that they both sincerely cared me and others- unlike a lot of other leaders who spent the obligatory time with the youth at church and no more. They stopped and talked to me for about a half hour and were genuinely interested in me. Over the years I grew to love them, and though it’s been years since I’ve seen either of them, the loss of “Choppy” is very devastating still. I can’t imagine what Jenn is going through. What their whole family is trying to cope with. My love, thoughts, prayers and deepest condolences go out to Jenn and the Hale family. The Hale’s are some of the best people I know. I miss them dearly and hope that they can all find some peace during this awful time in their lives. If you could please keep these wonderful people in your thoughts and prayers and send some positive vibes their direction, that would be awesome.
Stay tuned for more updates on C’s first day of school!