You know, I’ve lived in UT for a little over 5 years now. I used to vacation here as a kid with my parents. I lived in Park City for about 6 weeks. I now live in a very active part of town. I am ashamed to say that for the past 5 years I’ve missed out. I’ve been too busy bitching about how disgusting this place is, to realize that just a short drive away I can get out of the sludge.
Today I went up Millcreek Canyon. It was GORGEOUS! It snowed last night and so the landscape was coated with snow like a soft blanket over a freshly made bed. Made me just want to crawl in and cozy up. The plan was to take a little hike in the snow with the kids and the sleds. We got to the very base of the little trail and T started screaming her head off. This is a very dog friendly run and holy smokes… T is PARANOID of dogs. That doesn’t even come close to describing it.
So, we sat at the bottom of the trail, her screaming her head off when Ralph, N’s dog, came within 5 feet of her, or any other dog even came near. Last week I was so excited because she appeared to be getting comfy with Ralph, she held his leash with N and walked him all the way to the car! That was not happening today. N finally had to put poor Ralphie back in the car. When we finally got going it was the normal stop and go, but it was BEAUTIFUL. A soft snow started to lightly fall as we were walking up and I just thought to myself how stupid I’ve been for not going out and doing all these things. This is what I used to do as a kid and I loved it. In Vegas, we’d have family campout trips at Mt. Charleston. In Oklahoma we’d go to Arcadia and hang out on the weekends. One of my favorite things to do in high school was to ditch the religious class at 6am and drive out to Arcadia and watch the sunrise. Today, Millcreek reminded me so much of Arcadia, only the water running underneath us was nice and clear, not nasty red-brown. It also reminded me how much I miss skiing as I watched all the cross-country guys glide by us.
I realized again today that I cannot let anyone else control my life. I’ve made the decision to not enjoy all UT has to offer because I’ve been so wrapped up in someone else. And now that I don’t have the obligation that I previously did, I don’t feel like I need to wait around. I can go and show the girls all that life has to offer. We’ll be visiting Millcreek again VERY soon.
The best part?! This is cheap!!! Today we splurged and bought the annual pass for $40! The roads were completely plowed up there and they have a big snow caterpillar that makes cross-country tracks too. I’ve never done cross country and am thinking that this year may be a good time to try it out.
On a funnier note, I must REALLY be attractive to old men. You pay an attendant when you leave the canyon. As we were leaving I told the guy that I was interested in purchasing an annual pass, but didn’t have $40 in cash on me. He said that if I wanted to I could just leave and come back with some cash. I asked him if he was going to be there and if he’d forget me- he looked at me and said, “No! You’re unforgettable.” This made me laugh. I apparently leave some sort of lasting impression on old men when I meet them.
I drove home, got some cash and then went back to purchase the pass. When we got there he was so chipper. He asked how old the girls were and talked with T a little bit. T was so cute and told him how old she was and how old C was and that C was sleeping so we needed to be quiet. It was so funny. He looked at T and said “You’re a great 4 year old and you have a wonderful mom!!” T said, “I know!” This sweet old man(why do all nice guys have to be grandpas?!?!?!) then turned to me and said that my husband was very lucky because I just seemed like I’d be a ton of fun. While its so nice to hear this from a total stranger, it carried an air of depression with it. Its confusing to me why he never thought that. Why it wasn’t worth it to him to be respectful, faithful, considerate, loyal and all those other things that make any relationship successful. It’s nice to know though that I give off that kind of an impression to people, because really, that is who I am. And in so many ways I’m mad at myself for allowing myself to not be that person for the last 5 years.
I’m so glad to be breathing again. I’m so glad to be living again. I’m so glad to regain the confidence that I knew I had all along. I know I can do anything. I know I can show my daughters what being a strong woman is about. I know I can show them that it’s ok to put yourself first and stand up to people. I hope they learn to stand up for themselves and for others. And I hope to pass along a little bit more tact than I’ve done it with, because I know sometimes I don’t come across very kind.
Today I was listening to some fantastic tunes whilst driving up and down the snowy canyon road. I realized that in a few lines, I could be summed up by this lyric:
“I brush my teeth
And look in the mirror
And laugh out loud
As I’m beaming from ear to ear
I’d rather pick flowers
Instead of fight
And rather than flaunt my style
I’d flash you a smile
Of clean pearly whites”
It’s true- when I’m at home alone with the girls, our favorite thing to do is have dance parties- often in pajamas. When I brush my teeth I do smile at myself. And I would rather pick flowers then waste time on fighting cause heaven knows there’s been a lot of wasted time recently. I’m not willing to let any more go! And growing up, my dad never said a whole lot positive about me, but has always said I have the most beautiful smile. I hope its true, cause I’m a fan of smiling.
And today I’m a really big fan of rediscovering my love for the outdoors and the serenity that comes with that. Here are some pictures from our adventure today! (My apologies that I forgot the real camera and took them with my phone, which appears to have the “smurf” setting activated…)
T decided that she needed to strip out of her clothing as soon as we got back to the car… she HATES clothes. I suppose like mother like daughter. =)
C was more enthralled with T and that’s just fine by me- anytime my sweet girls are laughing and giggling with each other, the last thing I’m worried about is what kind of a picture I’m going to get.
YEESH! I suppose I should attempt to get more than 4 hours of sleep a night and maybe that would help with the bags under my eyes. I think the smurf setting aggravates this though… at least I’d like to think so!